perfect

Progress or Roadblock

From my perspective, that’s the question I sometimes find myself asking. I think quite a few people “suffer” from perfectionism. Not in the sense that everything they touch ends up being perfect, but rather that they hold themselves to the standard of: “If I’m going to do something, it has to be perfect,” or they have expectations that are simply impossible to meet.

I spend a lot of time thinking about this myself, especially in the context of software development. But here in particular, my theory is that approaching your own projects or ideas with this mindset actually hinders progress more than it helps.

What is perfect?

Honestly, it all starts at the very beginning with this exact question, which is the first one we should answer. Depending on the topic, defining this word for yourself can be either quite easy or incredibly difficult.

To give a few examples:

Is my body perfect? Is my code perfect? Is my life perfect? Is the food I cooked perfect?

According to the dictionary, it means “free from flaws or defects.” And boom, there’s the next question: what qualifies as a flaw? But more on that in a moment.

I’ll just assume that most people are familiar with the definition of “perfect” and would agree that this is how the term is generally used. The definition of a flaw or deficit is typically described as the “partial absence of something that should be present or is needed.” And with that, we’ve hit the nail on the head. Because most of the time, defining an objective standard for a flaw isn’t all that simple.

Let’s take a look at that first question.

The Flaw Standard

Is my body perfect?

When I look in the mirror, I say no, my body is not perfect. But why is that, and why isn’t it objective? I would describe myself as pretty average, but I have a specific image in mind of the physique I’d like to have. Someone else with the exact same or a similar build might be perfectly content and happy with it. This means everyone has a different metric for how they judge their own body. (Quick disclaimer: This isn’t about what is healthy or unhealthy. I am strictly talking about personal self-perception here.)

So, if someone tells me, “What do you mean? Your body is perfect,” then from their perspective, that’s just as valid as my own view is to me.

Using one’s own body is a deliberately chosen example to illustrate how quickly you can reach a point where what is perfect for one person still represents “work in progress” for another.

Personal Standards

I think that with everything—whether it’s your body, code, music, or food—you have to get clear on one thing: “What standards do I hold myself and my performance to?” That is step number one: becoming aware of what you want and what you are willing to do to get there. To stick with the previous example, I’ve been tracking my calories for a while now and trying to integrate more movement into my daily routine. Am I going to look like Henry Cavill in roles like Geralt or Superman in a year because of it? No, most likely not. But that’s completely fine. I will probably never look like that, simply because the starting conditions are entirely different.

Still, I’d probably think he looks more perfect than I do.

Well, damn. Does that mean my body will never be perfect?

If the standard is wanting to look like Henry Cavill, then that statement is probably true. BUT, I am the one setting the standards for myself here.

Standards for Others

Things can get trickier when differing views of “perfect” clash.

Question: Are other people allowed to impose their version of “perfect” on me?

Answer: Yes and no. Context is key.

If my boss at work presents his perfect plan to me, and he has the authority to issue it as a work instruction, then he is absolutely allowed to do so—even if I might disagree. However, if someone tells me I’m not fit enough, my stomach is too big, or my food tastes awful, and that I need to change it because it’s not perfect in their eyes, then a boundary is quickly being crossed.

Talking about different perspectives and exchanging viewpoints can be very healthy for questioning your own standards. But what someone else makes of my opinion on such personal topics as my body is something I shouldn’t care about, because it’s none of my business anyway.

As you can see, it’s not always straightforward. You start with the simple question “What is actually perfect?” and very quickly land at a point where things become socially complex.

Let’s log this thought right here: If I feel that something about someone else isn’t perfect, I should ask myself if what they are doing even affects me. If it doesn’t, I have no right to force my opinion on them.

Why can’t it be perfect? The German band Die Ärzte play a beautiful game with the word “perfekt” in their song of the same name. It describes how someone imagines the “perfect” relationship—everything is like in a movie, the ultimate blueprint for perfection. There are complaints about all the things that aren’t working and what both sides are doing wrong. But the realization in the final verse is the turning point. The standard for perfection changes in an instant. In just a few words, it conveys that despite everything that isn’t like in the movies, despite everything going wrong, it is perfect exactly the way it is. My open interpretation of it is that they remembered what truly matters: that the two of them are together and tackling life as a team. That’s all they really need, so at its core, nothing is missing. Therefore, it’s perfect.

This plays heavily with the paradox that something can be obviously imperfect, yet still be viewed as perfect. There are many areas where I fully agree with this, or would even take it a step further. Even if something might not be perfect (yet), you should never lose sight of what is already good right now.

At the end of this average-quality brain dump, what is there left to say?

With everything you could achieve, everything you could do, and how you could look, I try to focus daily on what is important to me and what is actually realistic.

Above all, I try to stop letting myself be held back just because something might not turn out “perfect.” That’s just part of the deal.

Conclusion

So, that was the first major entry here. Funnily enough, almost certainly not perfect in the eyes of some. I, on the other hand, am just happy to have put my thoughts into bytes, and I hope the following ones will be even more perfect. Thanks and catch you later!